The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
