WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
