Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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