I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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