did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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