I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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