I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
