I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
