I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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