I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
