its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
