i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
