i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
