I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
They should really pass out barf bags in church
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
