Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize