I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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