This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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