I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
only you would photoshop your dick
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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