he thought i was a dude.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
