i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
