I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
