I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
