I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
