i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
