Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
