franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize