He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She swung at the pinata with crutches
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
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