Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
