weddingsv make me drug and hornr
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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