I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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