you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
