All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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