Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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