the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
