I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
