beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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