He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
