Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
