I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
