you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I have post one night stand depression
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
