i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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