well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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