I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
