he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
