Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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