great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Ladies don't puke and tell
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
