is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
