In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
we're so committed to being not committed
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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