My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
