In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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