I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
