Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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