So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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