please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
