Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just want to make out with him forever
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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