I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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