Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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